A New Lease on my Forehead!

My little PSA for staying sun safe! If you know someone who is tanning in beds or laying out frequently I would recommend this. I'm not even a worst case scenario. More and more young girls are being diagnosed with skin cancer. One in five people will be diagnosed with some sort of skin cancer within their lifetime. I choose healthy skin from now on! 

This is what skin cancer looks like

Can you find it? Yeah, thought so. The above circle is a Basal Cell Carcinoma. It is skin cancer. Fortunately, I became sun smart around 5 years ago. I knew well of my fun yet reckless relationship with the sun and what it could possibly bring to me one day. Years of living near the beach as a child with the pre-sun aware generation, sun drenched sunscreen-free days as a teenager swimming at the beach and practicing tennis August, September and October (some of the hottest months in San Diego) without protection came back to kick me in the ass early in life. I can't even count how many times I was burned. I know I have been sun poisoned on several occasions. Oh and the kicker... I started tanning in what I will refer as the skin cancer chamber, AKA: the tanning bed. Boy did I feel so beautiful with a golden glow! It looked SO healthy! I would parade around in my favorite fashions (and God knows I LOVE to wear clothes) and not feel like Casper. Then I wised up. I grew up. My Husband was freaked out a bit I was starting to turn darker than him. He is part Mexican and naturally tan. I did not want to look like a catcher's mitt when I grew older. 

My history made me more aware of my skin. I would stare at any sign of an asymmetrical mole. More stories about being sun smart were found and heard on TV and in magazines other than the Reader Digest crowd. I started to wear sunscreen on my face every day and stayed in the shade while outdoors. I tried, but not hard enough. They say the damage has been done early in life.

It started out as a tiny pearly bump on my upper forehead (seen on the above picture while in Hawaii). I could barely point it out to people. It stayed and slowly became a bit bigger, but barely. The skin cancer flags went off in my head when one morning I noticed it was scaling over and bleeding. It was indented in the middle. I soon made an appointment to see my primary care doctor who referred me to see a dermatologist. She thought nothing of it, but I knew better. Several months later I finally came around to seeing the dermatologist. I had to point out the tiny lesion. There guess was it was an Actinic Keratosis (pre-skin cancer). They chose to try and freeze it off (cryosurgery) twice within a year. The lesion stayed. It actually got smaller. I was supposed to go in every 6 months, but several more passed. The "lesion" was barely noticeable. I had microdermabrasion done and I was SO pleased with the results. I had my 3rd dermatology appointment a week later.

The dermatologist came in and automatically looked concerned the lesion was still noticeable. They looked again under their special light and ordered a biopsy right away. I was sick. They had said no lesion would be there unless there was cancer brewing under my skin. It could be like the tip of a glacier with all the skin cancer under my forehead. Within the next hour they numbed up my forehead twice and took a tiny cookie cutter of skin off my forehead. I was on my way home until further notice.

I did not hear anything for 7 days and was so excited. No news is good news, right? WRONG. I came in to get my forehead stitches out and found my doctor was at a conference. I left excited to have my forehead back and a promise to wear lot's of sunscreen for the rest of my life along with the senior citizen style hats while in the direct sun. I came home. Eric Skyped me and I received a call at the same time. I answered when I noticed it was from the US Government and when I put two and two together I realized it may be the Naval Hospital. It was my doctor. He mentioned he was sorry he missed me and wanted to tell me in person, but I did in fact have Basal Cell Carcinoma. He wanted to start Aldara immediately. Aldara puts your immune system into hyper drive to try and kill off the cancer cells. It is considered a topical chemo. He told me how it worked and I gasped a bit through nervous laughter. He thought it was the best non-invasive way to try and get rid of the cancer. I was ready to get it over with and start ASAP. I cancelled fun plans and started sun free days right away. I told Eric and cried. One more thing to worry about. I tried to reassure myself what I had was the best type of cancer to have!  BCC is rare to metastasize and grows slowly! Yippee!

The next five weeks sucked. I threw up out of nowhere the first week on the medication and had muscle and stomach aches. I had hot flashes throughout the day. It scared me that this small amount of cream was so poisonous. I read about the awful side effects online and decided that was a bad idea to research and forced myself to stop googling. The last 3 weeks have been full of spine and lower back pain mixed with a massive amount of fatigue. The lesion grew everyday and got uglier. I had to use ALL of the cream. It scabbed over, would crack, then pus from the middle and drain out to the rest of my forehead. I would put the cream on at night and wash it off in the morning as it ripped off my skin and would slightly bleed. I am nearing the end. My doc gave me the OK to cut my cream application in half and stop this week. I am already feeling better other than the part where I want to SCRATCH MY FOREHEAD OFF!!!!

I am not out of the running for Moh's Surgery that will leave a big scar on my forehead. We will see how the lesion heals and if the cancer is still there with another biopsy. It can come back. It may have never gone away. I have increased my chances for Squamous Cell Carcinoma and Melanoma. My chance of getting more of these on my face is increased greatly.

Being tan is NOT worth it. If anything, be vain and think of all the photo aging the sun does. I LOVE the outdoors more than your typical person, but now I choose to do it safely. I have invested in SPF clothing some amazing hats and great sunscreen applied properly on my face and exposed body. I bought a super cute parasol. I have large SPF 50 sun tents now for outdoor activities. I have embraced my HEALTHY skin. Eric loves me pale and I am embracing it and rocking it!

  Hoping this six weeks will be the last with my battle of the lesion!

The first week.

My Husband took a few days leave to support me during a crazy schedule! LOVE this man!

 Week Three...that is ALL cancer being attacked.

 Week Four...starting to really hurt :-(

 Thankfully I can rock the you know what out of a hat and have tons of cute ones now! Another reason to shop!

 At my worst.  Week 5

 Week five and over it! My face was so tender and swollen here.

Hoping it does not leave too bad of a scar. Thankful for laser treatment!

Pin-Up Photo Session with Beth Cocuzzi of Pussycat Pinups

I had SO much fun on the below photo shoot! I felt these were tasteful enough to share. The rest are going to Eric! Anyone game to come with me next time?!?

A free slideshow design by Smilebox

And here is a fun Rhapsody Playlist of music that got me in the mood!

One dress, four looks!

So Macy's was having a killer sale on dresses and I bought a few for Vegas and myself. One was this cute little BCBG number. It looks a bit short in the pic, but it actually hits a little above my knee (a plus to being a shawty). Once I received it in the mail, it ended up being a bit big. It was the smallest size they had in stock so I decided to hold on to it after finding I could use it several ways (as shown below). I love the layering and it is staying in my closet! My tailor can hopefully help me cinch it in a bit, otherwise I will use one of the high waist belts I own. Dress love!

  The Dress

Casual Style

Painting the town Red!

Demure (with one of my fave puffed sleeve sweaters)

Date Night!

With tights.

My Staples

So I have been really reassessing the material items I need and don't need in my life. God knows how much I love to shop and I do wear a lot of clothes, but I also like simplicity and a clean organized closet. The rule is if I haven't worn it in a year, it should GO. I used to make it two years, but found the item just stayed in my closet one extra year as dust accumulated on it. I have been going on a bit of a rampage trying to make more space since we don't have too much of it, but there are some items I can't live without. Others might find this excessive, but hey, I'm happy!

#1: Sunglasses. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE sunglasses!! They keep my eyes happy and help the skin under and around my eyes stay semi-wrinkle free. I swear it is helping me stay away from the plastic surgeon for a few years, so in essence I am SAVING money, right?! And living in "sunny" San Diego most my life I need the protection, especially with my skin cancer scare a few years back. It is imperative I have a some sunnies for each occasion, fashion and activity. I need my fugly joggers for outdoor activity. I need my lightly tinted aviators for those semi-cloudy days. I have the classic Wayfarer that will never go out of style, although not the best for side facial sun protection. I love my big bug-eyed D&G's for lot's of protection and in case you did not notice I have a few back up pairs of my faves. So no debating with me. I'm keeping them all and plan on more, although mommy is staying away from the bank-breaking Chanels from now on.

#2: JEANS!! So this is a pic of my collection AFTER I whittled away the pairs I still loved did not need. Need I even explain why jeans are SO awesome? And unfortunately, for my hubby, I love the expensive ones. True Religion being my go-to brand. But fear not! There are a few Old Navy skinny jeans I own and some cheaper jeggings I adore. Sorry, but not going to pay over $100 for jeggings. So 22 pairs of fantabulous jeans is what I am keeping. I had 30...

#3: Turtlenecks! Yes, laugh now, but I have loved turtlenecks most of my life. Eric's first look at me was in a pic where I was wearing a mock sleeveless turtleneck. Let's just say he was more impressed when he saw me in person. The funny thing is a turtleneck to me could define someone who likes pearl necklaces, Argyle Cardigans, chinos and enjoys clothing from Land's End. This is SO not me. But I could rock a black turtleneck at a club if needed (fat hoop earrings and a smokey eye and I could make it work)! So I have around 18 here alone and trust me (unless this very mild winter stays around till spring) they will be worn! Also great with a pair of jeans. Do I sense a correlation?

#4: My fave shoe. As you can see the streets of Japan destroyed my favorite clog. I loved these. I had them forever and they will be making a trip to my local cobbler who I PRAY will be able to save them. They were so comfy and versatile. Great with jeans, shorts and had height without being over the top. Please keep your fingers crossed these bad ass shoes who have traveled many miles on my feet, can be salvaged.

And yes, there are so many other material items I am excessive about like watches, hoop earrings, velour track suits, cute mom-friendly flats, heels I rarely wear but still salivate over and flip flops, but I will save that for my next therapy session retail outing as well.

The Last Lime

This weekend was a bit sour literally and figuratively. Sophia started with a nasty cough Saturday and we ended up staying home all weekend and breaking some plans we had with family, hence why I am posting. I NEVER have enough time to blog! Sunday she mustered up enough energy to help mommy make organic chicken soup with veggies. I also used the last yellow lime from our tree. We found the BIGGEST web on the tree and one heck of a spider attached. Hopefully she is protecting it from bug predators so she is welcome to stay. Keeping my fingers crossed she brings us a big harvest of limes this season as well. I could seriously write a blog based on just the spiders in our backyard!

    The last of our juicy yellow limes. I LOVE lime flavor!

Guardian of the Kelso Lime Tree. This spider is badass.

Homemade chicky noodle sopa.

Check out the free t-shirt I was given due to my bad Diet Coke habit. This one is going in the PJ drawer if I keep it. Not something I am proud of but I do LOVE Coke even after this study!



Sophia in a better mood. She gets gnarly on this thing.

Lazy Weekend

Hey! Back after a long hiatus and figured I would post a little something for the SAHM's. Was a beautiful Saturday today. Sophia and I decided to strike the insane local gas prices this weekend. We relaxed in our backyard, picnicked, and had home fun instead of a beach day. One of the projects we worked on was making new crayons out of all our broken pieces. Sophia has just about every color and restaurant crayon you can imagine (Rubios, Islands, Claim Jumpers). So after picking off massive amount of crayon wrapper and now suffering with sore nail beds, we came up with the following:

1. Use one silicone mold w/various broken crayons in any color combinations that suit your fancy.

2. Bake at 275 for around 15 minutes. You may need to swirl melted mixture with a toothpick.

3. Cool completely. The silicone makes it easy to take out along with making cool shapes. You can also use a regular muffin pan w/a bit of veggie oil sprayed in each cup.

Wha-La! You have a whole new set of fun crayons and have recycled in the process!

Little Miss Artista

It's August already?

WOW! Time is really pushing forward faster than I EVER imagined. It is going on 5 months since Eric left for his Japan tour but it feels like he just left. I have an A+ in being mentally prepared and keeping busy. Eric and I have our tour theme song "Cold Blooded" by Rick James (we feel that is what other couples who don't know us must think since we are cool with this living arrangement). I take comfort in the fact that we will never do this again and 2 plus years is such a small blip of our 18 plus years together. I have also lived in worse situations, so in all honesty, it is really not that bad. He has been so darn busy (as we anticipated) that quality time with him is next to nill in Japan anyhow. We are grateful that I am surrounded by our friends support here in San Diego and spending quality time with our family as we intended so Sophia does not miss out on knowing our loved ones. Eric has been busy flying, working 12-14 hour days and will be leaving on his second deployment only to come back when we go visit for a month later this year. Skype has been amazing and we usually talk twice a day. Where was this technology when Eric deployed for almost 10 months years ago? It is amazing how things have changed in a GREAT way! We make a conscious effort to make good conversation, which is easy to do since Eric is my best friend...but can be something easy to overlook in regular day to day lives when with each other every single day. This whole situation is making us stronger and we will come out with more love for one another as it teaches us not to take one another for granted. It also teaches ME how to run the house better and be a better independent woman by working the power saws, repairing sprinkler heads, using the drill more often and the like! So, we are still very pleased with the decision we made, no matter how untraditional it is.

Sophia has had a few milestones in these past months. At around 20 months I finally took off the front screws to her crib and turned it into her daybed. I really wanted to do this at 18 months since our little monkey set herself free and was able to get out if she wanted. I am amazed at how agile she is and hope one day she is not climbing El Cap rope free. Thankfully she was so excited about sleeping in her big girl bed that no transition was really needed (thank you Mr. Ferberization). It was standard operating bedtime procedures as usual and in fact, she did not want me to read or rock her that night since she totally wanted to lay her head down on her new big kid pillow!
Sophia also started potty training. We are still SLOWLY working on this one day at a time as my little girl is stubborn and wants to do this on her terms, which is totally naked. She pees like a champ in her potty when she is free of any clothing (socks and all). Unfortunately, this situation does not work well on trips out and about so we are currently slowly introducing panties (that she also likes to pee in). I got some sparkly Dora panties today, so I am hoping this may change my little free naked spirit.
I have also been busy channeling her endless amount of energy into Mommy & Me Soccer, a class she has a blast in. She is in session two of swim class and finally floating on her back by herself! Sophia is also attending part-day Montessori School 3 times a week, which she has a fun time socializing in. We will have to miss some classes until the beginning of the year soon, but for great reasons. We will be on our way to the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone for most of September! The Shafers have graciously invited us to go on the camper driving journey of a lifetime along with their family and little boy Bjorn who Sophia adores. Gail's parents will be taking care of Sophia as we hike down to the bottom of the canyon and stay at the Phantom Ranch! I will be happy to have a day of rest and ranch life as we depart for our hike up the canyon the following day. Then onwards to Yellowstone! October will be my annual visit to Palm Springs with my most awesome friend Dani. It's a much needed girls trip and the weather will be amazeballs for pooly time and adult beverages! Soon after my sister is due. We are SO excited! Little Ava is going to take up a lot of our time, hugs, and kisses! Halloween and Thanksgiving will blow by with our fam here in San Diego and before you know it, we will be visiting Eric for a month in Tokyo in our "Japan condo". Yippee!              

Hear ye, Hear ye, Princess Sophia is TWO!

SO thankful she has been a good sleeper since 3 months old. It's God's way of giving me a break for the time she is AWAKE and with enough energy to run our city!!

Picking our first crop of organic heirloom tomatoes. Sophia was SO excited to eat one, until I cut it open and offered. Looks like we'll be making spaghetti sauce instead.

Canning the tomatoes so they don't rot! We had quite a few and more on the way.

No worries. You don't need to submit this to shitmykidsruined.com. It is a Crayola bath time set Sophia got from her buddy Bjorn. Lord knows what chemicals they used to make that work, so I'm gonna try my best to not read the ingredients and pretend it's all natural! Besides, it is an extra 30 minutes of happy quiet time for mommy as she plays so contently!

And lastly, a little brown widow friend crawled it's way into Sophia's bike, called it home and is clutching it's nest sak per the above picture. I am not terrified of spiders like most of my friends. Having lived in SoCal most of my life I've seen my fair share of gnarly black widows ...but add my daughter into the pic and let's just say I was pretty freaked out knowing she's been scooting all over the place on this for quite some time before I noticed. Sweet dreams, and Goodnight!

Lazy Sunday

Finally smiling for the camera

Strawberries and Spring Mix Lettuce. Finally put up the net after something was eating the strawberries and now I have little holes in the lettuce! I am trying to learn how to make this work organically w/no insects!

Our cucumbers are doing okay. I think they need more sun since I placed the tomatoes on the wrong side of the sun. Spinach is growing and tomatoes are going to be great! I have an ant issue on this side so I use borax and corn syrup to help ward them off.

Hey! Look at me! I am on a roll as this is my 2nd Sunday of blogging. It's probably due to the fact I lost my master to-do list. I can't find it anywhere and quite frankly, I can't remember what the hell I needed to do anyhow. Maybe that means it's all really not that important.

So usually San Diego is considered sunny year round. What most don't realize it that this is really the opposite once you hit "May Gray" and "June Gloom". One of the cool things about living out where we are (around 20 minutes from downtown) farther east inland is that all that tends to burn off late morning and open up to sunny blue skies. It looked that way today and then in came the gray again later on. These kind of days make me want to curl up and do nothing. I truly do suffer when I can't see Mr. Golden Sun in my day and my daughter is very much the same creature. I have a hard time if I can't get her outside each day with her for more than 2 hours. I have NO idea how others (or possibly we someday) can brave a real long blustery winter where you stay inside with a toddler.

So since my to-do list is probably in the recycling bin, we decided to do hang out at the house and fill our day with backyard play, garden tending, and hanging out with our dogs. Sometimes it is nice to not really make plans. A big plus for today is that Sophia had no tantrums as well...Yay!

I'm baaack...I think.

It's been awhile! Blogging has officially become a to-do list chore for me at this time for a number of reasons. I had really thought when Eric left for Japan I would be twiddling my thumbs with not much to do, but it has really been quite the opposite. I find myself dozing off as I rock Sophia at the end of the day while singing and reading her stories. It is a struggle to stay up past 9PM but I must if I plan on getting anything accomplished. I also find I get a bad case of writers block when I try and blog. The words and ideas do not flow and if you can tell by my posts, I did not major in English. I wish I had all the time to sit here and tell you of my "adventures" each day (even with my non-existent reader following). More for Eric's sake, especially since I love reading when his blog is updated. My big problem is there is just SO much in my head that I could write about. The possibilities are endless. My blog is really not centered on any individual subject, just our life in general. I could totally rant like an old person (which I believe I am in many ways) about how people do not use their turn signals, why skater boys in our neighborhood would get a swift kick in their low-riding jeans ass if they ever tried to date my daughter, how people really need to learn cell phone ettiquite, and my quest to get speed bumps installed in our neighborhood. I love to bring up hot topics, but that always seems like a bad idea after you do it since my friends views on life are so varied. I could dedicate a whole blog on health. More ideas that come to mind is our commuter marriage, having a high energy and spirited toddler, awesome recipes I am trying, my battle with quitting diet Coke and my love/hate relationship with working out. I would love to use a blog as therapy too and talk about living in and overcoming severe dysfuntion growing up. So at the end of the day I have all these ideas floating through my head but I usually find myself curled up on the couch with not one ounce of energy left, not even in my fingers. So for now I will take it one Sunday at a time, and one blog subject at a time. Sunday is also the day Eric and I read our book club selection and watch Mad Men Season one together (though miles apart).

So in the midst of all this trying to keep in touch and keeping communication tight with Eric, I have our little Sophia who is going through a "Mom, you can't take a picture of me because I think it is funny when you tell me to smile and I look away from the camera" phase going on. I try and sneak one in, but I can never get a full smiling face. It would be nice to have some new pic's for Eric, really. At this point I have all but given up.

Lately Sophia has a love of holding on to random items. She must hold on to her toothbrush all day long. She actually gets a bit frustrated if she doesn't have shorts or pants with pockets she can hold her brush in. She also likes to hold on to more random items: a spoon (since she finally learned a fork was unacceptable by mommy), anywhere from 2-6 bracelets at a time, chap stick, Mardi Gras style beads, and her stickers. She falls asleep with some of these items as well and wakes up each morning pointing and asking for me to pick up "my stickers", "my bracelet", "my toothbrush" and on goes another day of the gypsy look. She has finally realized she is having a harder time holding on to these items as she starts to accumulate more to her collection. She recently found a snazzy little basket so she can now hold on to more! Yippee!

Today I got her all dressed up, hair and all and tried my best to take a pic for Eric near our beautiful blooming lilies...only there was one problem.... she refused to give up the basket of junk for the picture. She was also pretty mad I took off her 5 bracelets, necklace and the picture session was then cancelled. So I give you "Sophia without basket"...

Composting, It ROTS!

So, I have only been officially composting for 5 days now. I am amazed at all the scraps, clippings and paper shreds we can put inside to rot and not in our trash. Hopefully this experiment works since the composting vessel is self made. I couldn't fathom the idea of dropping over $100 on a retail plastic barrel (I mean that could be a nice pair of shoes, right?) that would produce way too much compost anyhow for our smaller urban garden. We used a small Odjob hand concrete mixer made out of non-leaching plastic and drilled small holes around the outside. I can't wait to have our own golden soil! Our garden is going to be a fun project for Sophia and I while Eric is gone. If all goes well and we actually grow anything, we are going to step it up to canning and send freshly grown organic tomatoes to Eric in Japan! I am not quite sure why we didn't try this out before considering all the sunshine and mild temps we get here.

I also bought a few children's books about gardening and planting. Sophia has her own watering can, and child sized gardening tools. She also enjoys turning the compost barrel daily. We are both working on earning our green thumbs. Pictures will follow eventually if our garden is a success!

Workout Jam

So lately I've been a bit lazy and I've really need a swift kick to get up and workout. Eric and I have decided to up the ante and make it into a challenge for both of us during his stay in Japan. It will be our version of Biggest Loser and the winner will get to choose their choice of vacation at the end. What's even cooler is we will be renewing our wedding vows at the winning location. I have chosen Tunnels Beach in Kauai and Eric chose Las Caletas Beach in Puerto Vallarta. Either spot is magical and exciting although I am a bit partial to Kauai.


After I had Sophia I dropped over 50 pounds eating Nutri System (which is not great but it works) and working out with a mixture of pilates, yoga and cardio. I always think the true yogi and pilates followers have the bodies I really want. They always seem long and lean, not too much bulk or muscle and still enough bump in the booty. The problem now is that Eric and I have been enjoying our last months together before he leaves and then during the holidays which included a LOT of food! That was a mistake! I feel super flabby Mcflabster and have decided to take up jogging. Did I mention I DESPISE jogging/running? I am not a fan of the aches and joint pain that is followed by a light jog on the hard pavement. I get shin splints. I have no great feeling of energy or what they say is an endorphin rush afterwards. And moreover, joggers and runners do not have the body I want, but nevertheless I started jogging to get rid of some of the excess pregnancy fat that does not want to leave. I am desperate and I know jogging burns an excessive amount of fat, more than my beloved yoga and pilates. I know once the fat diminishes (before it gets to burning my booty away) I will let my joints and shins enjoy life again without the constant pavement pounding....and I know I am jogging correctly. I looked at proper form on You Tube!


So to me music is life and energy. I created a badass workout jam for my MP3 player. If it wasn't for these songs and my dogs that pull me there is no way I would have the drive to jog past my front door. I could definitely find other ways to torture myself!



And without further adieu, here is the list:



Black Eyed Peas - Imma Be, Rock That Body

Peaches - Mommy Complex

Drowning Pool - Bodies (I need some mean music to get through tough workouts)

Marilyn Manson - The Beautiful People

Ludacris - Move Bitch, Get Back (great traffic music too)

Paul Oakenfold - Faster Kill Pussycat, Ready Steady Go

Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For?

Jay-Z - Swagga Like Us

P.O.D. - Boom

Kanye West - Stronger

Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At, Red Alert

Cypress Hill - Superstar

Daft Punk - Da Funk

DJ Shadow - Organ Donor

Propellerheads - Take California

Outkast - B.O. B.

69 Boyz - Tootsie Roll

Sexy Bitch - David Guetta

Until next time! Suzanne ;-)

Sleeping on my carpet tonight

I am taking a break after 2 hours of the most awesome sauce cleaning experience ever. You know you have hit matronly status when you are raving about cleaning products. Seriously though, cleaning in my home can be quite difficult even with Lucy, our house cleaner I adore. When you have three dogs that roam the house and a inquisitive toddler who enjoys a good mess you find your carpet looking dated and worn. We bought upgraded, expensive carpet and when you are a stay at home mommy I really don't have the extra money (besides paying Lucy and Freddie whom I would sell my soul if needed) to hire a carpet guy to come out every month. The answer to our prayers was the Bissell Proheat Steam carpet cleaner. Man have my wildest cleaning dreams come true. This bad boy even spits up hairballs I did not know existed in my carpet. When the water is poured out it looks like chocolate dirt liquid...such a satisfying feeling I tell ya. With my new carpet cleaning skills, I feel like I have a career in janitorial once the stay at home mommy thing comes to an end and if nothing pans out for me! I could drive a big white van around and name my business "She's got Skillz" Cleaning Service. And if we ever find ourselves renting our home out you know I am showing up each month to tend to my carpet. And from now on, no more cleaning stories.

Awesome Kid Items

So, I'm always getting compliments on the many gadgets and toys I buy for Sophia. I am addicted to buying Sophia awesome stuff that makes my life easier and she enjoys. If I see a mom sporting something cool, I always ask (like the ray shade to block out sun I saw at the zoo on a stroller...perfect for San Diego sun). I figure I will start posting some of these things right here if it helps any other mother out! One item we LOVE and get compliments on every time we are dining out is the Kiddopotamus Tiny Diner reusable mat. Sophia is now eating with utensils and dishes, but we still use it for the mess around her and have been using it since she has been sitting up. It is pretty darn awesome. Also today we just got the coolest Melissa and Doug magnetic puzzles in the mail. One has hinges that open and close and inside is a magnetic surprise. The other is a bug net magnet in which Sophia can pick up the other bugs from the puzzle. A sure hit as Sophia played with one for 15 minutes straight on her own (that never happens in our household). They will definitely be going on the plane with us.

What's up with the jaws dropping?

Watch out! I am officially a part of the blogging world now. Please proceed with caution and disregard any grammatical errors! As most of you know, I am pretty common sense smart, but did not excel well in school :-/ Eric and I have both started blogs to better our communication while he is away. I am in practice mode here. We have thought of anything and everything to stay connected while he is living in "our condo in Japan" as we call it come April of this year. I think I may be able to write a book after researching for hours and hours on commuter marriage and flying with a toddler. You know when I do something, I have to go all out and be totally prepared.

You may or may not be familiar with our situation. Eric received 2 1/2 year orders to Atsugi, Japan starting this April. We found out over 7 months ago which was initially a rumor before that. I am actually excited it was that long ago since it seemed like yesterday and it is an indicator time will move fast. Once we found out (the rumor and then the reality) I was pretty shocked. It was Eric's fourth choice and I know in life, especially in the military, you get what you get and make the best of it. So after many tears and weighing the pros and cons we both decided to ask for voluntary unaccompanied orders. I won't go into the nightmare we faced trying to get them unaccompanied which made no sense at all considering we will be saving the Navy bank. It was like we were asking to fly to the moon. It really was simple, Eric lives in a BOQ with COLA for one instead of a whole family and we keep housing for San Diego which is similar to Atsugi cost if not less. And yes, there are actual crazy people like us that have done this and survived! When we finally got everything orders wise figured out I felt a monkey was lifted off my back and there would not be a severe financial burden on us to make this work. After many months of being able to ponder our decision we still feel rock solid that this is right for us. We have a boat load of pros vs cons and Sophia and I staying in San Diego won out tenfold.

Once I started to tell anyone who would listen (I have to talk about everything as most of you know) about our situation, the jaws started dropping. Of course these weren't people that knew Eric and I well. They did not know that this man is my best friend, my confidant, and we aren't the typical military family. Both my family and Eric's family both live here in San Diego. We both have small families, but we are VERY tight with most of them. They did not know that Eric's mom has problems with rheumatoid arthritis and has been widowed for only a few years now. Her English is not perfect as well. Eric and I help her out with all aspects of her life now. We also have Nana Mica whose health is failing. We try and drive down to Tecate, Mexico as much as possible with Sophia. Oh and did I mention my family?! My grandfather has many health related issues as well. I consider him the stable father figure I did not have growing up. I also have a sister and BIL who I adore and are currently trying to start a family! We are so close and to be a world away would break my heart while she is pregnant. And Lord knows my mom needs me! We have all survived living and dealing with an addicted person who is now dying. He is now cut off from our lives, but we are stronger in dealing with someone who is delusional and violent with the help of each other. It's a shame what addiction can do when you refuse to seek help...but that is a whole different part of my life that has only made me one STRONG woman who can deal with a LOT of crap! Sophia also adores her G-Ma Kellie, Tia Moni and Cousin Vic. I do not want our loved ones to miss out on spending time with Sophia while they can. All that added with the fact we'd have to rent out our newly remodeled (with our own hands for the last three years) home, sell our newly paid off cars, give away one or all of our dogs which would NEVER be an option for us. They are my furry kiddos and many of you know I have turned into a big animal activist. I found that Japan is not too fond of having dogs in their homes. There is just not the room required in the small spaces we would have to live in. Even if we lived across the U.S. it would be easier than Japan. Hopefully by the time Eric comes back and we save our pennies right we'll be selling the house if we can find a better home to remodel or rent out.

So we came to the realization Sophia and I would stay here in our home while Eric is living and deploying in Japan. Most military wives have a policy that they will go wherever their hubby goes but I have been known to break rules and defy the odds. Eric and I have no fear about this situation. We have always been on the same wavelength. We trust each other 100 percent and quite frankly I am tired of women telling me about what could happen "being away from each other so long"...seriously if Eric wanted to do that he could do that now. Eric works long hours with his current squadron and late nights on the flying schedule. Also the whole "you may be headed for divorce" BS...really? I am just at awe at what some women who barely know you or your life come up with. It really gets unnerving. I am a little surprised on how foreign women react when I tell them on our future living situation. Most don't bat an eye and many have said, "good for you!"... is that a unique difference American and foreign women have? Are they stronger and are we just so attached? There is just so much to be learned from the crazy commuting marriage experience! What we do know for sure is that Eric will be out to sea coming in and out most of his first year. I'd really not want to be there if he was gone for most of it. I would want to come back to the states every time he left which really would not be feasible. It is so much easier the other way around with the support we have to watch our dogs and home and we leave to visit Japan. So many frown at the thought of the cultural experience we will be missing. It's not like we will never be out there! I can fly out ANYTIME he is not busy! When his deployment schedule winds down most likely we'll be visiting every three months. I know most days Eric will be working his ass off out there. It will be nice to visit when he has a breather.

And yes, it will probably be 2 1/2 years. As a military wife, I think the worst thing you can do is dwell on time. I am not one for countdowns. I live my life and keep myself busy (but not so much I am frazzled and always sick). The deployments that we have survived have been an easy transition when Eric is back home and I expect the same from this one. We never make a huge deal out of anything. Sophia keeps me busy, my volunteering will keep me busy, house projects will keep me busy, my lifelong San Diego friends and family will keep me busy, etc... Shoot...2 1/2 years may not be enough! HA! JK! Honestly, I look at it as 24 plus months. I don't think of days or weeks as that sounds SO long. A month is doable and it goes by quickly. I've done 9 1/2 months with Eric gone and hardly any communication. I was lucky to get a call a month and that is if I was home. It was normal for his e-mail to be down weeks at a time. I had no smart phone I could use chat or e-mail on, let alone a cell phone. I didn't have Skype or a web cam. I didn't have a damn thing!

I also get through the hard parts of life thinking about the ones who have it harder. It was a survival mechanism I used growing up in a dysfunctional household. When I was young and living under an addicted father's rule I would think that some poor soul in TJ (right across the border) probably had it worse. I still use this way of thinking to this day. It may not be healthy, but it works. I am glad Eric is not going to Iraq or Afghanistan for a year or more where I would not be able to visit at all. I am thankful he will be in a super safe country that is fun to visit. I am happy this "may" possibly be his last tour where he deploys and he will get to come back to America afterwards. We are blessed as a family that in this economy Eric has a job that not only does he love, but allows me to stay at home with our sweet Sophia. It also allows us to do things I would have never imagined doing as a child. Eric and I have a love of travel and adventure and the Navy helps is in our quest to do that! We are blessed to have a roof over our head in a home we own and a meal on the table each night (or take out). Eric, Sophia and I are all healthy and happy in a loved filled home. I am also grateful I grew up in an adverse situation that I never knew one day would make me strong and able to handle more than I ever dreamed of.

I will be keeping my spirits up this whole coming year by traveling to Hawaii with my family, visiting friends afar, my SIL's wedding here in San Diego along with a bachelorette party in Vegas I am planning, Grand Canyon and Yellowstone with Sophia and close friends in September, my annual excursion to Palm Springs and hopefully, if Eric is not deployed, a long visit to Japan from Thanksgiving to New Years.

I am excited about the future! We are going to power through this unique experience and it will make us stronger! It's just another adventure in our lives together. I have now known Eric longer than I have not known him. We've been together for over half our lives! In the meantime I am going to blog about our adventures whether anyone is reading or not. It will be therapeutic for Eric and I and fun to share our stories in the years to come. I also promise my posts will be a bit smaller than this rant! I just had to explain. Until then, stay tuned!