Awesome Kid Items

So, I'm always getting compliments on the many gadgets and toys I buy for Sophia. I am addicted to buying Sophia awesome stuff that makes my life easier and she enjoys. If I see a mom sporting something cool, I always ask (like the ray shade to block out sun I saw at the zoo on a stroller...perfect for San Diego sun). I figure I will start posting some of these things right here if it helps any other mother out! One item we LOVE and get compliments on every time we are dining out is the Kiddopotamus Tiny Diner reusable mat. Sophia is now eating with utensils and dishes, but we still use it for the mess around her and have been using it since she has been sitting up. It is pretty darn awesome. Also today we just got the coolest Melissa and Doug magnetic puzzles in the mail. One has hinges that open and close and inside is a magnetic surprise. The other is a bug net magnet in which Sophia can pick up the other bugs from the puzzle. A sure hit as Sophia played with one for 15 minutes straight on her own (that never happens in our household). They will definitely be going on the plane with us.

What's up with the jaws dropping?

Watch out! I am officially a part of the blogging world now. Please proceed with caution and disregard any grammatical errors! As most of you know, I am pretty common sense smart, but did not excel well in school :-/ Eric and I have both started blogs to better our communication while he is away. I am in practice mode here. We have thought of anything and everything to stay connected while he is living in "our condo in Japan" as we call it come April of this year. I think I may be able to write a book after researching for hours and hours on commuter marriage and flying with a toddler. You know when I do something, I have to go all out and be totally prepared.

You may or may not be familiar with our situation. Eric received 2 1/2 year orders to Atsugi, Japan starting this April. We found out over 7 months ago which was initially a rumor before that. I am actually excited it was that long ago since it seemed like yesterday and it is an indicator time will move fast. Once we found out (the rumor and then the reality) I was pretty shocked. It was Eric's fourth choice and I know in life, especially in the military, you get what you get and make the best of it. So after many tears and weighing the pros and cons we both decided to ask for voluntary unaccompanied orders. I won't go into the nightmare we faced trying to get them unaccompanied which made no sense at all considering we will be saving the Navy bank. It was like we were asking to fly to the moon. It really was simple, Eric lives in a BOQ with COLA for one instead of a whole family and we keep housing for San Diego which is similar to Atsugi cost if not less. And yes, there are actual crazy people like us that have done this and survived! When we finally got everything orders wise figured out I felt a monkey was lifted off my back and there would not be a severe financial burden on us to make this work. After many months of being able to ponder our decision we still feel rock solid that this is right for us. We have a boat load of pros vs cons and Sophia and I staying in San Diego won out tenfold.

Once I started to tell anyone who would listen (I have to talk about everything as most of you know) about our situation, the jaws started dropping. Of course these weren't people that knew Eric and I well. They did not know that this man is my best friend, my confidant, and we aren't the typical military family. Both my family and Eric's family both live here in San Diego. We both have small families, but we are VERY tight with most of them. They did not know that Eric's mom has problems with rheumatoid arthritis and has been widowed for only a few years now. Her English is not perfect as well. Eric and I help her out with all aspects of her life now. We also have Nana Mica whose health is failing. We try and drive down to Tecate, Mexico as much as possible with Sophia. Oh and did I mention my family?! My grandfather has many health related issues as well. I consider him the stable father figure I did not have growing up. I also have a sister and BIL who I adore and are currently trying to start a family! We are so close and to be a world away would break my heart while she is pregnant. And Lord knows my mom needs me! We have all survived living and dealing with an addicted person who is now dying. He is now cut off from our lives, but we are stronger in dealing with someone who is delusional and violent with the help of each other. It's a shame what addiction can do when you refuse to seek help...but that is a whole different part of my life that has only made me one STRONG woman who can deal with a LOT of crap! Sophia also adores her G-Ma Kellie, Tia Moni and Cousin Vic. I do not want our loved ones to miss out on spending time with Sophia while they can. All that added with the fact we'd have to rent out our newly remodeled (with our own hands for the last three years) home, sell our newly paid off cars, give away one or all of our dogs which would NEVER be an option for us. They are my furry kiddos and many of you know I have turned into a big animal activist. I found that Japan is not too fond of having dogs in their homes. There is just not the room required in the small spaces we would have to live in. Even if we lived across the U.S. it would be easier than Japan. Hopefully by the time Eric comes back and we save our pennies right we'll be selling the house if we can find a better home to remodel or rent out.

So we came to the realization Sophia and I would stay here in our home while Eric is living and deploying in Japan. Most military wives have a policy that they will go wherever their hubby goes but I have been known to break rules and defy the odds. Eric and I have no fear about this situation. We have always been on the same wavelength. We trust each other 100 percent and quite frankly I am tired of women telling me about what could happen "being away from each other so long"...seriously if Eric wanted to do that he could do that now. Eric works long hours with his current squadron and late nights on the flying schedule. Also the whole "you may be headed for divorce" BS...really? I am just at awe at what some women who barely know you or your life come up with. It really gets unnerving. I am a little surprised on how foreign women react when I tell them on our future living situation. Most don't bat an eye and many have said, "good for you!"... is that a unique difference American and foreign women have? Are they stronger and are we just so attached? There is just so much to be learned from the crazy commuting marriage experience! What we do know for sure is that Eric will be out to sea coming in and out most of his first year. I'd really not want to be there if he was gone for most of it. I would want to come back to the states every time he left which really would not be feasible. It is so much easier the other way around with the support we have to watch our dogs and home and we leave to visit Japan. So many frown at the thought of the cultural experience we will be missing. It's not like we will never be out there! I can fly out ANYTIME he is not busy! When his deployment schedule winds down most likely we'll be visiting every three months. I know most days Eric will be working his ass off out there. It will be nice to visit when he has a breather.

And yes, it will probably be 2 1/2 years. As a military wife, I think the worst thing you can do is dwell on time. I am not one for countdowns. I live my life and keep myself busy (but not so much I am frazzled and always sick). The deployments that we have survived have been an easy transition when Eric is back home and I expect the same from this one. We never make a huge deal out of anything. Sophia keeps me busy, my volunteering will keep me busy, house projects will keep me busy, my lifelong San Diego friends and family will keep me busy, etc... Shoot...2 1/2 years may not be enough! HA! JK! Honestly, I look at it as 24 plus months. I don't think of days or weeks as that sounds SO long. A month is doable and it goes by quickly. I've done 9 1/2 months with Eric gone and hardly any communication. I was lucky to get a call a month and that is if I was home. It was normal for his e-mail to be down weeks at a time. I had no smart phone I could use chat or e-mail on, let alone a cell phone. I didn't have Skype or a web cam. I didn't have a damn thing!

I also get through the hard parts of life thinking about the ones who have it harder. It was a survival mechanism I used growing up in a dysfunctional household. When I was young and living under an addicted father's rule I would think that some poor soul in TJ (right across the border) probably had it worse. I still use this way of thinking to this day. It may not be healthy, but it works. I am glad Eric is not going to Iraq or Afghanistan for a year or more where I would not be able to visit at all. I am thankful he will be in a super safe country that is fun to visit. I am happy this "may" possibly be his last tour where he deploys and he will get to come back to America afterwards. We are blessed as a family that in this economy Eric has a job that not only does he love, but allows me to stay at home with our sweet Sophia. It also allows us to do things I would have never imagined doing as a child. Eric and I have a love of travel and adventure and the Navy helps is in our quest to do that! We are blessed to have a roof over our head in a home we own and a meal on the table each night (or take out). Eric, Sophia and I are all healthy and happy in a loved filled home. I am also grateful I grew up in an adverse situation that I never knew one day would make me strong and able to handle more than I ever dreamed of.

I will be keeping my spirits up this whole coming year by traveling to Hawaii with my family, visiting friends afar, my SIL's wedding here in San Diego along with a bachelorette party in Vegas I am planning, Grand Canyon and Yellowstone with Sophia and close friends in September, my annual excursion to Palm Springs and hopefully, if Eric is not deployed, a long visit to Japan from Thanksgiving to New Years.

I am excited about the future! We are going to power through this unique experience and it will make us stronger! It's just another adventure in our lives together. I have now known Eric longer than I have not known him. We've been together for over half our lives! In the meantime I am going to blog about our adventures whether anyone is reading or not. It will be therapeutic for Eric and I and fun to share our stories in the years to come. I also promise my posts will be a bit smaller than this rant! I just had to explain. Until then, stay tuned!